Led Zeppelin - Box Set (4xCD, 1990)

As a teenager on a limited budget, this was a sweet Christmas gift. These were some of the first CDs I owned, and having this much Zeppelin at my disposal wasn't bad at all. Looking back, I think this box set is relatively pointless.

Aside from the inclusion of "Hey Hey What Can I Do" and "Traveling Riverside Blues," two rare tracks (and both great songs), along with the short instrumental "White Summer," this is just album versions of Led Zeppelin songs, hand-picked and remastered by Jimmy Page. It's kind of chronological, but when it comes to chronology, it either is or it isn't: mixing together songs from roughly the same era but from different records is bush league.

On top of that, "Heartbreaker" is on here, but not only does "Living Loving Maid" not follow it, it's not even included. Weak. And while the sound on these discs was definitely a huge leap forward in 1990, any Zeppelin fan would have probably rather ponied up a little more dough for their entire discography, instead of just a large portion of it. Of course, this left the door open for other cash grabs that Jimmy Page would take full advantage of over the next two decades.

Zeppelin's an album band. A one-disc best-of for the casual "Stairway" fan makes sense. A 4-disc retrospective just reminds the hardcore fan what was left out: some of the deep cuts that give the popular ones more context.

I listened to this a lot when I was a teen, but after I picked up all their records on LP, it just didn't make sense. Though I still have it...

"Hey Hey What Can I Do"

Led Zeppelin - Coda (LP, 1982)

I will say this for Coda: The idea behind it is sweet, it's a fucking sweet title for an album which you know is going to be your final release, and the songs on it, though incongruous, are all worthy of release. Having said that, this thing is definitely all over the place, and hard to get a handle on. But there's some cool shit here.

Released a few years after John Bonham's death, this was Zeppelin's first post-breakup record, and really the only single album of unreleased material they would ever put out. A few other rare tracks would show up on their box set in the 90's, and why those weren't included on this, I don't know. Regardless, what we have here is a Led Zeppelin afterthought, an album that, like I said, deserved to be heard, but doesn't ultimately fit with the rest of their catalog very well. Strangely, that makes me like it more.

"We're Gonna Groove" is an old one, a raw blues number that is great because it's fast. It's "Heartbreaker"-ish, and there ain't a damn thing wrong with that. "Poor Tom" is a Led Zeppelin III-era acoustic jammer that is the best song on this record, hands down. Plant nails it, and the guitar work is finessed. Why they thought to follow it with an edited-for-time live version of "I Can't Quit You Baby" is beyond me. At less than five minutes, it's far more tolerable than other versions, but still. The first side closes with "Walter's Walk," which sounds half-finished. It's a shame, because the shoddy production quality seems to be overshadowing a catchy tune.

"Ozone Baby" is a straight rocker that opens the second side, and it's solid. Thick guitars, nothing fancy. "Darlene" is a weird mix of 50's rock and pure 70's Zep, with John Paul Jones hammering out some sweet piano. Not crazy compelling, but a fun song. There seems to be a forced fade at the end, which leaves you wondering how long this thing got jammed out in the original session.

"Bonzo's Montreux" is John Bonham beating on the drums for four minutes with some odd effects layered in and out. It is awesome.

"Wearing and Tearing" is the last song on this one, and it's a great closer. Heavy, fast, and urgent. Zeppelin at their punkest. That's not saying much, but it's a raggedly aggressive cut. I've always liked it.

And that was Led Zeppelin's only release in the 80's. If they were giving their legend time to grow, it certainly worked on kids like me. By the early 90's, I was ready to get all Zepped out and shit.

"Wearing and Tearing"

Led Zeppelin - In Through the Out Door (LP, 1979)

The last true Led Zeppelin album.

The picture I'm using is the cover of the LP I have. As you may know, there are six different cover variations which, if I was a Zep fanboy to a higher extreme, would force me to collect all of them. As it stands with Zep, I'm just happy to have the music.

The original LPs also came wrapped in brown paper, but I bought mine without it. It's not rare to find them with the paper cover intact, but it seems that more often than not, original copies are missing it. Fun fact I learned while looking farther into the album art on this one: The inner sleeves of this LP feature black and white comic-like art, and if you wet them, they become colored. I licked my thumb, wiped it on mine, and sure enough: the black streaked red. I had no idea. More info on this elaborate cover art here.

Listen, I'm by no means glad that John Bonham died a year after this album was released. And I'm a bit curious to have heard what the 80's would have held for Led Zeppelin. But if it was going to be anything like the schmaltz that's on this record, I'm happy the band was forced to call it quits. Of course I'm half-joking, but tracks like "All My Love" and "Fool in the Rain" are borderline embarrassing. (I actually have a soft spot for "Fool in the Rain," but it's for personal reasons. I still stand by the fact that it's a shitty song.)

Also, I take back what I said about "D'yer Mak'er" being the second worst Zeppelin song. I completely forgot about "Hot Dog" off this record. It's really neck and neck between that one and "Down By the Seaside." Wow, I think "Hot Dog" might actually be worse. It's rockabilly being played by Led fucking Zeppelin. There's no call for that.

Now, this record isn't completely worthless. "In the Evening" is a great opener, and a genuinely badass song. And "Southbound Suarez" is also fairly strong. But after those first two, it gets rough. Side Two opens with "Carouselambra," which is about eight minutes too long and the synths on it are shameful. "I'm Gonna Crawl" ends up being the last song on the last Zeppelin album while Bonham was still living, and though it's not a great tune, it seems fitting that the band gets back to the blues and leaves out the frills.

The word has always been that Jimmy Page was deep into heroin at this point (the video below shouldn't leave any question about that), and didn't take control of the band like he usually did. Apparently this gave Robert Plant the opportunity to freely wuss out to his heart's delight.

It's tough to hear Zeppelin not rock.

"In the Evening"

Led Zeppelin - The Song Remains the Same (2xLP, 1976)

This is easily the Led Zeppelin album I've listened to least. Well, this one and Coda are probably tied for that honor, actually. Regardless, if you're looking for a 26-minute version of "Dazed and Confused," this is the place to go.

This is the soundtrack to the concert film of the same name, which is equally self-indulgent and overflowing with wank. Zeppelin was arguably at their peak around this time, and they were taking full advantage. Though, surprisingly, the excessive drawing-out of the songs is not really the problem with this collection of "live" recordings. The problem has always been, at least for me, that these performances just aren't that great. I was actually really disappointed when I first heard this, and was much happier to stick to the studio recordings.

On top of that, the song choices don't take any risks, instead opting for "Stairway to Heaven," "Rock and Roll," "Whole Lotta Love," and some other casual-fan-pleasers. The highlights are "The Song Remains the Same" and "The Rain Song," which aren't perfect, but back-to-back they're solid. "No Quarter" is also pulled off nicely, but even that track is missing the depth of the studio version.

My claim to fame with this LP is that the second record in my set has Side Four labels on both sides. No doubt this has something to do with Aleister Crowley, working his black magic again.

"Rock and Roll"

Led Zeppelin - Presence (LP, 1976)

While Physical Graffiti would be Led Zeppelin's last truly great album (in my opinion), they still had some great songs in 'em. Presence is probably the strangest Zep album, in both content and album art. I enjoy the abstract art of the cover (centering around "The Object"), as I think it fits the scatterbrained vibe of the music quite well.

While this record is ultimately all about its centerpiece, the masterful "Nobody's Fault But Mine," the songs that surround it are strong as well. "Achilles Last Stand" is a complex rocker that changes speeds all over the place and features a bunch of different parts. At this point, the band makes it sound easy. One of the more underrated songs in their catalog. "For Your Life" holds a loose and thick groove, with a ragged Plant scratching his way through the phased vocals. A pretty sweet track. And yes, Stone Temple Pilots owe a lot to this track.

"Royal Orleans" is a decent stop-and-starter, but not one of the band's stronger tracks. Plant sounds especially spent on this one. Like I said, "Nobody's Fault But Mine," the opener on Side 2, is the jam on this one. It's another traditional blues jam that Zeppelin had their way with, and it's a thick bruiser, with Bonham pounding out the drum parts with complete fury. Any trace of Plant sounding tired isn't apparent, and Page's solo in the middle is clean and gets to the point.

The remainder of the record is a little disappointing after that. "Candy Store Rock" finds the band again trying to do a 50's rock thing, and the mix sort of fucks it. "Hots On for Nowhere" sounds like it should have been on Houses of the Holy, and it's another decent stop-starter, reminiscent of "The Ocean." "Tea for One" is basically "Since I've Been Loving You" part II, and I rarely ride it all the way out. Zep getting back to their roots. Fine for them; boring for me.

Not one of my favorite Led Zeppelin albums, but when people say it's underrated, I can see what they mean.

"Nobody's Fault But Mine"

Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti (2xLP, 1975)

There are a few different ways to look at this record. Some might see it as the greatest achievement of one of the world's greatest rock bands. Some might argue that it's bloated, particularly noting that it contains songs from various eras, thus rendering it not very cohesive. But pretty much everyone agrees it's good. I also claim that it's good, and tend to lean more towards greatest achievement than bloated.

There's a bit of a White Album argument to be had when it comes to Physical Graffiti. "If it were just pared down to one great album..." Well, fuck that. There are some rough points on this record, but if you tried to trim it down to two sides instead of four, you'd be leaving out some stellar songs, no matter how you moved shit around.

Speaking of moving shit around: as with most Zep records, my biggest complaint with this one is the sequencing. Now, when you've got two eight-minute-plus songs and one that clocks in just above eleven, you've got some considerations to make. And, again, who the hell am I to tell Jimmy Page how to arrange his precious compositions? Still, I've always felt this thing didn't flow exactly right. But, wah wah wah. As it stands, there are four sides to this beast, each with their own set of ups and downs.

Side One starts with "Custard Pie," which is one of my least favorite songs on this album, and always struck me as an odd opener. A blues-based rocker leaning on a thinly veiled oral sex metaphor seemed to be well-trodden Zeppelin ground. So, for me, it's a lackluster beginning. "The Rover" picks things up, showing the poppier side of the band that was emerging as the 70's hit middle age. But it's "In My Time of Dying" that is really the focal point of this first side. At 11:05, it's Zeppelin's longest studio track, and one that takes some patience and stamina to stick with. Not my favorite song, but I definitely recognize its importance, and even its greatness. It's just loooong.

Side Two is relatively flawless. "Houses of the Holy," a leftover from the album of the same name, is groove-ridden but poppy, and hearing Plant sing extremely catchy lines about Satan is priceless. "Trampled Under Foot" is Zep at their most classic rock (up to this point), with Plant straining to be heard over a crowded mass of guitar riffs and organ noodling. It's more undefined than other Led Zeppelin songs, but it ends up being a nice change. Then there's "Kashmir." If you told me that you thought "Kashmir" was the finest thing the band ever did, I wouldn't argue with you. It's an immense, timeless song that will be around longer than any of us. And I'm actually being sincere when I say that. I can understand not liking Led Zeppelin. I have a hard time understanding not liking "Kashmir."

Side Three is a weird one for me, as it contains both my favorite and least favorite Led Zeppelin songs of all time. But before those, the second half of Physical Graffiti gets going with "In the Light," which I've always loved. John Paul Jones does some eerie "No Quarter"-ish synth work at the beginning, and Plant's vocal parts are incredible throughout. Another huge song, and another testament to how ambitious the band was getting as songwriters. It's followed by "Bron-Yr-Aur," a nice little acoustic instrumental that is actually Zeppelin's shortest studio track, at just over two minutes. They've got something for everyone here, folks.

And maybe that was the idea behind "Down By the Seaside," which is my all-time least favorite Led Zeppelin song. I don't know if they were trying to crack soft rock radio, or just feeling generally wussy, but I even hated this song when I was a teenager, and that's saying a lot. I was willing to go to the wall for Zep on pretty much anything, but the warbly guitars and unbearably shitty lyrics on this one were (and are) just too much for me.

Conversely, if I had to pick just one Led Zeppelin song to spend the rest of my life with, I think I'd pick "Ten Years Gone." To me, it's their perfect song. The guitar parts are intricate but not overly so, and Plant's performance on this song is just untouchable. And when Bonham kicks in after the first verse...yowsa. It's as good as it gets for me.

Side Four is solid, though maybe not up to par with the rest of the album. "Night Flight" is a good song, with the band trying to do a 50's rock sort of thing with it. "The Wanton Song" rides a tight riff that widens out in the chorus, and the organ part makes it much better than it would be without it. "Boogie with Stu" is a loose jam, and should have been a b-side. "Black Country Woman" is an acoustic jam, and a damn good one. It should have, in my opinion, either been the first or last song on this album. Probably last. But what do I know. Instead, "Sick Again" ends the album, and it's probably the most ass-rock song in the Zep catalog. Squealy. It doesn't really suit the band well.

So, sort of an odd end to a monster of a record. Is this my favorite Led Zeppelin album? Yeah, probably. There's just so much to it. And if nothing else, the LP art is extraordinary, which I've always appreciated.

"Ten Years Gone"

Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy (LP, 1973)

At this point it's safe to say that no Led Zeppelin albums can be classified as underrated, but I've often felt that Houses of the Holy maybe doesn't get the respect it deserves. Sandwiched between the ubiquitous Zep IV and the magnum opus Physical Graffiti, this record is in a weird spot chronologically, but it shouldn't be overlooked. This is Zeppelin at their peak, and features the band finally resorting to some studio trickery to get their point across.

"The Song Remains the Same" is a favorite of mine, and the way that its speedy chaos segues right into the balladry of "The Rain Song" is just fantastic. Ah, "The Rain Song." If you're a young man and you've got feelings, this is a great tune to headphone out to in your room alone. I still think it's a great song. The lyrics are corny as heck, but like I said: Teenager. Room. Alone. Perfect.

"Over the Hills and Far Away" has strangely become a classic rock radio staple, and even if you don't recognize the title, you'd recognize the song. It's a good one. Really a solid first three songs here. "The Crunge" should have been a non-album b-side, but it doesn't seem like anyone was telling Jimmy Page shit at this point, so here it is. Thankfully, it's short.

I've always thought "Dancing Days" was a great song, too. Sweet guitar riff, some of Plant's better lyrics, and lots of little noodling. In fact, all of these songs sound a lot busier than any of the previous Zep offerings. Page was clearly tinkering.

"D'yer Mak'er" is the second-worst Led Zeppelin song ever (we'll get to the worst on the next record), and should not be listened to by anyone. It is the one thing that stops this record from being decisively stellar. It is reggae bullshit of the highest degree, and someone should have stopped Jimmy Page from putting it on the record. John Paul Jones, I'm looking in your direction.

The final two songs on the album make up for it. "No Quarter" is huge, and really one of the songs the band should always be remembered for (not that there's any lack of those). They step out in a whole new direction, and though the song is seven minutes long, it doesn't drag. A great one. "The Ocean" finishes things up, and though it's not my favorite song here, I still think the "Na-na-na" bits are awesome, and prevent the song from becoming too formulaic.

This record got a lot of play from me when I was 15. A lot. And I didn't used to hate "D'yer Mak'er" as much as I do now. It's been a long, gradual process of utter disgust, peaking with this blog entry. That'll learn 'em!

"No Quarter"