Billy Joel - An Innocent Man (LP, 1983)

When I get to a point where I own the majority of an artist's catalog, there's something in me that feels the need to complete the collection. This, coupled with the sheer affordability of the purchase, must have been what came over me when I decided to buy this LP. Nothing else could explain why I own this crapfest.

This is one of those records that I bought (I'm sure I paid no more than fifty cents), then upon bringing it home, looked at it and thought "Why in the fuck did I think this had any redeeming qualities?" From the opening tepid funk groove of "Easy Money," I knew I had made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Of course, it also bears mentioning that I would have made an incompetent music exec in the 80's. If Billy Joel would have come to me and asked my thoughts on him paying homage to a bunch of acts that inspired him 25 years earlier by attempting to replicate their sound, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell him that it was career suicide. Needless to say, this album spawned numerous hits and made Joel an even bigger star than he was.

But, it was all at the expense of him assing out in a series of cornball videos and making music that seemed far beneath him. Maybe he just had me fooled with the early shit. Who knows. But your parents loooove this record.

The lesson to be learned here (and I don't think this is my last Billy Joel LP, so clearly I had to learn the really hard way) is that when you're dealing with a artist that has a lengthy catalog, it's ok to only dig a certain era. And that way you can be the cool guy who says things like "Yeah, I like Billy Joel, but only the pre-'83 shit." Or "I only listen to pre-Graffiti Bridge Prince (a good rule of thumb, by the way).

Maybe it was Christie Brinkley that fucked everything up for Billy. He does sound way too happy on this record. And you know that's not good.

"Keeping the Faith"

Billy Joel - The Nylon Curtain (LP, 1982)

Before Billy Joel decided to egregiously ham it up for MTV and lose all his credibility, he released this, his last truly good record. The Nylon Curtain is arguably Billy at his most serious, with the working man's "Allentown" and the Vietnam epic "Goodnight Saigon" being two of the more notable tracks on this LP.

I've never really cared for either of those songs, but they're both admirable for their sincerity and production value. And everyone seems to like "Allentown" except for me, so that's my cross to bear. Also admirable: Joel's use of the word "fucking" (in a non-sexual context) on the bitter, Lennon-esque "Laura." Way to slip that in there, Bill.

"Pressure" seems to show early signs of "We Didn't Start the Fire" Joel, with its synth propulsions and over-the-top 'tude. Another Billy Joel song that seems to be trying too hard, but ends up equaling safe fun. If nothing else, the structure of the song is an odd one, and it's nice to hear him trying some new shit.

The second side is radio-hit-free, but the tracks are great. "She's Right on Time" is ostensibly a love song, but there seems to be some trouble brewing under the surface. If Billy had a hard-on for the Beatles at this point in his career, he sure didn't hide it very well. "A Room of Our Own" is the precursor to the 50's-rock road that Billy would travel on his next record, but here he sounds more like Beatles-era Lennon than anything else. Thankfully, none of that doo-wop bullshit. Yet.

"Surprises" also channels Lennon, and so does "Scandinavian Skies." What the hey, Billy? I actually think it works, though it's an odd and unexpected turn, especially on the psych-ish flowings of "Scandinavian Skies." One of the weirdest Billy Joel songs ever. "Where's the Orchestra" is Billy's "The Long and Winding Road," and a fitting end to the artistically respectable portion of his career.

It's amazing how different he would sound a year later. Meanwhile, this record remains his most underrated.

"Scandinavian Skies"

Billy Joel - Songs in the Attic (LP, 1981)

This record was one of the cooler moves of Billy Joel's career.

While a live album is notoriously used as a time-buying option for labels–affording their artist a break to work on a new album while still holding the public's interest–they're usually also packed to the gills with safe and easy songs, rendering it not much more than a greatest hits package in a live format. Billy threw 'em a curveball with this one. It's a live record featuring nothing but deep cuts from his previous records (including the semi-rare Cold Spring Harbor), and it's way better than a hastily-produced collection of his top-ten radio favorites would have been.

Apparently Billy was no longer stoked on some of the album versions of his earlier work, instead preferring the newer arrangements that he and his band had perfected during their constant touring. So, songs like "Streetlife Serenader," which had seemed thorough but timid on LP, rocks substantially more here. And "Captain Jack" makes a lot more sense in a live setting, with the crowd amping Billy up into a much more impassioned performance than the comparatively static one from Piano Man.

This record also contains "She's Got A Way," a song that hadn't been given a fair shot on Cold Spring Harbor, but gets a revival here, for better or for worse. It's a nice ballad, but eh.

The recording's great, and Billy seems lively (if not half in the bag) during the entire thing. Mostly, I just love the idea of this record. Most true fans of a band or musician would much prefer this to a rehashing of the songs that we've all heard too many times. Ah, the early 80's. You'd never see this now. You might see something like it, but you know they'd tack a 14-minute version of "Piano Man" onto the end, just to appease the casual (read: lazy) fans.

Also, I love that this cover (and title) are much more suited towards a b-sides/rarities compilation than a live record. The notes on the back clarify what's included in the LP, but still.

"Miami 2017 (Seen the Lights Go Out On Broadway)"

Billy Joel - Glass Houses (LP, 1980)

I have a book called The Year In Music: 1979 (Goodwill impulse buy) and as I was leafing through it yesterday, I noticed that the summation of Billy Joel's year was categorized under the "Easy Listening" umbrella. Ouch. For a guy with a boulder-sized chip on his shoulder, this (which I'm sure wasn't an isolated incident) must have irked the shit outta the little guy.

His response? To get rockin'. Glass Houses is the closest Billy ever came to an all-out traditional (read: guitars!) rock 'n' roll record, and I have to admit, he did a good job. While I've grown tired of "You May Be Right" over the years, the rest of the album holds up. "Sometimes A Fantasy" is so over the top with emotional posturing that you can't help but respect the effort. "Don't Ask Me Why" is lilting but not cutesy, and I've always liked it. He was wise to cut it off at the three-minute mark.

"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" seems forced, but it is what it is. It's one of those tracks that I've heard so many times that I can't even tell if I love it or hate it. "All for Leyna" is cool, if only for using a name that he clearly made up.

Unlike his previous record, this one doesn't puss out on the second side. "I Don't Want To Be Alone" features Joel doing his best Elvis Costello which, whether it was a blatant attempt to gain credibility or not (a lot of this record reeks of that), was a gutsy move. The chorus pushes it, but the song isn't a throwaway. For some reason, "Sleeping With the Television On" is one of my favorite rockers on this LP. It's quick, wordy, and lyrically strange. I dig it.

"C'Était Toi (You Were the One)" slips back into the soft-rockery a little bit, but it's an OK transitional tune. "Close to the Borderline" is another one of my favorites, with Billy sounding like he's singing into a bathtub and affecting some weird new wave (or his approximation of new wave) accent that is loony.

You have to wonder if Billy was going through a McCartney phase, because between "Don't Ask Me Why" and "Through the Long Night," the closer on this record, he's really channeling some pre-Wings Paul. Not often you hear acoustic guitar on a Billy Joel record. Another bold move (by his standards), and another one that, in my opinion, works.

You should read Rolling Stone's review of this record. They do not care for it.

"All for Leyna"

Billy Joel - 52nd Street (LP, 1978)

Once Billy Joel hit the pop/rock jackpot with The Stranger, he must have acquired a taste for adulation. 52nd Street is peppier and poppier than his previous LP, and contained almost as many hits.

He wouldn't reach his blatantly-shooting-for-Top-40-hits peak until his next record, but here, he's laying it on pretty thick. He also started to rock a little bit harder. The drums on these tracks are thumping, and the progressions keep moving and don't look back. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it ain't. He's still got the requisite ballad ("Honesty"), but it's followed by "My Life," which wipes that sensitivity clean. "My Life" is a damn fine pop number, but it's no surprise that it ended up as the theme to a sitcom. It's trying to be backoff-ish and pissed, but it's just too gleeful a track.

"Zanzibar" is Billy in Steely Dan mode, and it somehow ends up working. The second side struggles a little bit, with "Rosalinda's Eyes" basically bringing things to a halt with its craptastic salsa swing. "Half a Mile Away" stacks the horns on top of each other and gets all too bouncy. It's a cute song, but in that forced falsetto sort of way. "Until the Night" feels gratuitous, going on about three minutes longer than it needs to. The title track closes things on a weird note, with Billy trying to recapture the smoky bars of his early career.

Not a bad record, but I always think I like this one more than I really do. Starts strong, but then it loses me on the second side.

And no, Billy Joel doesn't play trumpet on this record. But there sure are three separate photos of him holding one.

"Zanzibar"

Billy Joel - The Stranger (LP, 1977)

After releasing two records with no major hit singles, Billy Joel went ahead and put out what would end up being a mini-greatest hits album. Say what you want about the The Stranger–it is radio-friendly rock in its purest form, I'll give you that–but these songs are solid.

You know 'em, you love 'em. "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)" somehow manages to make its "ack-ack-ack" refrain un-annoying, which is impressive in its own right. The title track starts out eerie and ends up running through a groove that sounds more invigorated than anything he had done before. In fact, this whole record sounds more tight and aggressive, filling in holes that were apparently empty in some of his earlier songs.

"Just the Way You Are" is probably loved or loathed depending on who you are, but I've never minded it. I think I just really like the organ tone. "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" is Billy's "A Day in the Life," and when followed by the near-perfect "Vienna," it's gotta be the the best back-to-back coupling on any of his records. Again, Joel may never be remembered for his lyrics (by critics, at least), but on these two tracks he outdoes himself.

"She's Always a Woman" is a bit schmaltzy for me, but I can see why people get off on it. "Get it Right the First Time" probably gets sorely overlooked on this record because of all the hits that precede it, but it's held up well over the years. Conversely, "Everybody Has a Dream" is just as corny as the title would indicate, though the "Stranger" reprise that footnotes it wraps the album up nicely.

I've been going back and reading old Rolling Stone reviews of Billy Joel's records, and I guess I never realized how maligned he was by critics. They fucking hated him. Part of me gets that. If I would have been a young man when this stuff was being released I'm sure I would have hated it, too. Instead I seem to hold some weird place for ol' Billy in my musical tastes because I grew up not knowing any better and learned to love a lot of these songs before I realized it wasn't "cool." So fuck it. I'm not turning back.

"The Stranger"

Billy Joel - Turnstiles (LP, 1976)

This is the last album Billy Joel would release while still having the luxury of only being mildly famous. His next record would blow everything wide open and make him a household name, for better or for worse.

Speaking of, if I haven't already, let me explain why I enjoy Billy Joel so much. Obviously, his (pre-1983) music is undeniably fantastic. If you choose to be too cool for Billy Joel, that's your business, but you're missing out. He's an angry guy, prone to depression, and the way those aspects of his personality materialize in his music is brilliant. He may be accused of being a better songwriter than lyricist, but I don't think that's fair. As corny as it sounds, there's something to be said for writing from the heart (or the top of the head) and Billy Joel does that as well as anyone. It'll never be cool to like Billy Joel, but that makes it even more fun to like him.

Possibly most intriguing about Billy Joel: the fact that he tried to commit suicide by drinking furniture polish. Furniture fucking polish. And then he lived through it and became one of the most famous popular musicians in history. I think that's fantastic for a number of reasons.

Also fantastic for a number of reasons: this record. If his previous albums had pointed towards his potential and were allowing him to find his voice, this is the one where it all comes together. Turnstiles isn't as instantly mind-blowing as The Stranger, but it's equally compelling.

"Say Goodbye to Hollywood" is a 50's-ish sax-rocker that feigns sincerity but seems ultimately pissed. The strings are a bit much, but the song is rendered huge as a result of the arrangement. "Summer, Highland Falls" is an impressively intricate ballad, a song that has sadly been usurped in popularity by Joel's more radio-friendly slow-and-sensitive numbers. Great lyrics and a great song.

I'm not a huge fan of "All You Wanna Do Is Dance," but maybe that's because I don't care for the island rhythms it uses. "New York State of Mind" makes up for it though, starting small and ending up a giant of a song. "James" is one of many Billy Joel deep cuts that you'll probably never hear on the radio, but it wouldn't be out of place there. "Prelude/Angry Young Man" shows Billy getting gutsy with his songwriting, going nutso with the time signatures and really challenging his band. It's good stuff.

"I've Loved These Days" is a sarcastic ballad that seems like the second part of "Say Goodbye to Hollywood," driving the point (disgust with Hollywood culture) home even further. "Miami 2017 (Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway)" is the most out-and-out rocking song on the record, a weird futuristic tale of New York meeting its demise. It's heavy compared to the rest of the record, and it makes a solid closer.

Mid-70's Billy Joel: don't act like you don't like it.

"James"