Eminem - Curtain Call: The Hits (CD, 2005)

By this point, I became convinced that Eminem was just fucking with us.

"Fack," the song that leads off this greatest hits compilation, is dumb even by Slim Shady standards. And "Shake That," a duet with Nate Dogg that is one of the other unreleased tracks on this album, is a potty-mouthed club throwaway that never should have seen the light of day. Nate Dogg actually says "I get more ass than a toilet seat."

"When I'm Gone" is Em in full-blown 2Pac wannabe mode, recording a song that will become forever poignant (and eerie even!) if he ever gets shot and killed. Until that happens, it just seems kind of corny. Though it sparked some conversation: Em's hair isn't dyed blond in the video, so the theory that he "killed" Slim Shady at the end of Encore now holds even more water.

It's all very interesting.

"When I'm Gone"

Eminem - Encore (2xLP, 2004)

If Eminem's last record was him trying to get serious for a minute, this one seems like he's given up on that idea and just gone crazy instead.

"Evil Deeds" is a slight return to form as an opener, a song that is at least peppy, and while he might be trying to be playful with it, it almost sounds like a strange cry for help. It seems Eminem had almost been warped by the insular nature of his fame-crazed life, and this song sounds like he's both off his rocker and, strange as it may seems, Eminem trying to sound like Eminem. The rest of the record is pretty much the same. "Mosh" is another serious song, and it's terrible. People who try to act like this song is deep are easily stimulated, apparently. It's followed by "Puke," which is just as low-brow as it sounds.

Even the radio single from this album sounds like Eminem parodying himself. I wonder if he really thought the yelping thing (that sounds vaguely Pee-Wee Herman) from "Just Lose It" was going to catch on, or if he just wanted to see if all of us would start doing it?

Like his previous effort, there's also some great songs on here, but they're getting fewer and farther between. I understand Eminem's got the world on his shoulders and all, but come on, man, we all miss you being nutty.

Now it's all doo rags and those damn biker gloves.

"Like Toy Soldiers"

Eminem - The Eminem Show (2xLP, 2002)

Sometimes, when you've got a bunch of people around you telling you you're a genius (or possibly the "voice of a generation"), you really start to believe it. You start to feel it's your duty to quit fucking around and drop some real knowledge on these goddamned sheep.

Eminem's strong suit had always been the "just don't give a fuck" of his Slim Shady persona, a dude who'll say anything just to get a rise out of you, and if you're not on board with him, who gives a shit. He was kidding anyway. I don't know about the teenagers, but I was never looking to Eminem for advice on who to vote for, or to hold up a mirror to our damaged society. To me, his music was always a great way to not think about that shit.

So, the first time I heard "White America," the opening track on this, his third proper full-length, I was disappointed. It's five and half minutes of Em trying to be Chuck D and Flavor Flav at the same time, and it's incredibly boring and pompous. Pretension from a guy like this is disheartening for so many different reasons. When I got to "Sing for the Moment," which is not much more than him rapping over a re-playing of Aerosmith's "Dream On," my disappointment grew. Not only is it tired (come on, jacking fucking Aerosmith?), but it's the first of three almost-six-minute songs in a row, and you start to feel like he's really towing that blowhard line.

Having said all that, I love about half of this record. "Soldier" is one of my all-time favorite Eminem songs, and "Business" and "Till I Collapse" are dope as shit. I guess I always think of this record as the beginning of Eminem shoving his sense of humor aside in favor of those dumb biker gloves he started wearing. Flexing hard is one thing; taking yourself far to seriously is another.

Yep, I'm totally one of those "I liked his old shit better" guys.

"Cleanin' Out My Closet"

Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP (CD, 2xLP, 2000)

If anyone had any doubts about Eminem's abilities in the wake of The Slim Shady LP, they were squashed when this album hit. He basically kept the same formula as the first record (MTV-friendly first single, anger anthems, help from Dre, even revisiting some of the same skits), but did everything better.

The first time I heard "Kill You," I knew this record was going to be huge. "Offensive" lyrics or not, it's just a great song, especially when it's opening a record like this one. The fact that people took any of this shit seriously just confirmed Eminem's genius as a both a lyricist and a rabble-rouser. Everyone was playing right into his hands, and watching him enjoy it was fantastic. People who attempted to transform this record into something divisive had no chance of proving their tired point, which was fine by me, because I never understood it in the first place.

"Stan" became, at almost seven minutes long, an unlikely radio hit, and to me, a song that got old a lot faster than some of the other ones. Same with "The Way I Am." I really liked that song a lot when this first came out, but some of the other cuts have proven to hold considerably more staying power. "Marshall Mathers" is still great, "Bitch Please II" will always be fun, and "Criminal" is the perfect bookend to "Kill You," turning out to be just as acerbic and intense in closing, which is tough to pull off after the thickness of this record.

Let's not kid ourselves, there's some iffy tracks on this one. "Kim" is too long, and while the concept is interesting, it's not a song that can be listened to over and over. "Amityville" introduced a lot of us to the lyrical infancy of Bizarre, a half-wit who spits such memorable lines as "I fucked my cousin in his asshole," and then leaves us waiting for a punchline that never comes. The rest of D12 shows up on "Under the Influence," and while the results of the guest spots are stronger, the chorus ("You can suck my dick if you don't like my shit...") is one of the worst in the Slim Shady catalog.

So, I think maybe people get a little ahead of themselves when they start calling this "one of the greatest hip hop albums of all time." It would really depend on how long that list was. But, this is certainly an album of a distinct time, and it was impressive how much this thing influenced culture in the beginning of the new millennium. I was at a party in 2000, and we were drunk and dancing in someone's front room to this record. A young lady (who clearly fancied herself above this sort of drivel) was glaring at us from the corner. Given, I'm sure we were being obnoxious, but that wasn't her beef. She waited for a song break and yelled: "Oh my god guys! Don't you realize you're dancing to Eminem?"

I understood what she meant. And yes, in a perfect world, we might all be better than this. But sometimes, that's just not the way it works out. For some reason, as corny as it sounds, that little story has always summed up the appeal of this album for me perfectly.

"Marshall Mathers"

Eminem - The Slim Shady LP (LP, 1999)

I remember seeing the article in Rolling Stone. Dr. Dre was sitting in the studio, bro-handshaking with this peroxide blonde weasely looking dude, and the article explained that the kid was Dre's new protégé. I did not have high hopes. When I saw the video for "My Name Is," it confirmed my worst fears: Dre was pandering to the white kids, looking to sell this poor sap down the river to make a few bucks. I also noticed that the sap's rhymes, while pretty stupid with the subject matter, were pretty smart with the execution.

I heard Eminem again when I was hanging out with some friends before we went out one night. They had this CD on and it played through once while we were sitting around. After hearing some of the deeper album cuts, my intrigue grew. I picked up a used cassette copy and gave it some time in the car. Some of it immediately struck me as over-the-top corny. I was still in my early twenties when this album came out, and I felt I was too old to be listening to it. It seemed dead-set on aiming straight for the ears of teenage boys. It was, but once I decided not to give a shit about that, I learned to like this record.

I'm probably like a lot of other people: if I never heard "My Name Is" or "Guilty Conscience" ever again, I'd be fine with that. But, tracks like "Bad Meets Evil," "If I Had," and "Rock Bottom" still sound great to me. And there's more than that. This album is deep, almost an hour long, and it's filled to the brim. Em's lyrics are great throughout, and you can tell this is stuff he'd been working on for years.

Is is the most mature album in the world? Nope. Is it borderline retarded in spots? Yep. Are these some sweet lines?

"Class clown freshman/ Dressed like Les Nessman/ Fuck the next lesson/ I'll pass the test guessin'"

Yup.

I remember seeing Eminem's mom (and his mortified little brother) on an episode of Sally Jessy a few years after this came out, when people were really on his shit about the content of his lyrics. A teenage kid stood up to defend his hero Slim Shady, and when Sally asked him why he liked to listen to such offensive music, the kid said, "I just like the way he rhymes."

That's what I'm talking about.

"Just Don't Give a Fuck"

Embrace - Embrace (LP, 1987)

Ian MacKaye takes umbrage with those who refer to this record and this band (which really isn't much more than a one-off side project) as "emocore." It's easy to understand his frustration, mostly because the dude's not a fan of labels of any sort. But, come on. Lines like "I hid my feelings/ When they should've been bared" are pure fodder for people who want to point to this record as one of the first "emo" albums.

Really, none of that shit matters. Yes, MacKaye does talk about his "feelings" more on this album than any other one, and yes, coming shortly after Minor Threat, it seems just that much more sensitive. I've always viewed it more as a catharsis. These are songs that don't seem completely fleshed out, but they serve a purpose as vehicles for MacKaye to vent his current frustrations. Nothing wrong with that. And, this is one of the bridges between Minor Threat and Fugazi. His lyrics, as introverted as they may be, are more structured and wisely political than they were with the Threat. He still doesn't quite have the hang of it, but he's real close.

The songs on this record aren't super memorable, but they're far from bad. And as unpolished as they are, they're not thrown together, either. MacKaye has specific targets on each track, and he does a good job of screaming in the faces of the people he's pissed at.

I don't listen to this record much anymore, but I'll never get rid of it. It's a great semi-oddity in the MacKaye/Dischord catalog. Listening to it now, I'm remembering what I liked about it: the recording is raw, the songs are hard and fast, and just to let you know he hasn't gone soft, MacKaye drops lines like "Sometimes I'd like to kick your fuckin' ass."

And he sounds like he means it.

"Dance of Days"

I Went to a Show: Steakside With the Supersuckers - New Year's Eve 2008 @ Dante's.

The 20th anniversary show in Seattle got me excited about the Supersuckers again, and when we found out they were playing a New Year's Eve bash in downtown Portland, the fiancée and I knew where we'd be ringing in 2009. (Or at least I did. She was gracious enough to accompany me.)

Because I'm an idiot, we showed up too late to catch Gerald Collier, who was the opening act for the evening. Apparently when they say they're starting the show at 9, they mean it. So, that was a bummer, but I have no one to blame but myself. We came into the fairly packed (and sold out) show during the beginning of Kleveland's set, and spent the next half hour reveling in the unbridled ass-rockiosity of it all. I really began to wonder if they were shooting a pilot for a new VH1 special about a band trying to "make it." Barre chords, rock clichés, drumstick twirling; it was all happening. But, when their lead singer took a pause between explaining what every single song was about to say that they were going to be playing with Hell's Belles soon, the thick-buttered cornball "look-out-we've-got-attitude!" thing made a little more sense. Then they covered Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some," she dove into the crowd (seriously), climbed some scaffolding (really), and I realized, at that very moment, that I was living in a real-life deleted scene from Light of Day.

The Supersuckers came out at about 11:30, looking primed and ready. Eddie was rocking tight jeans and white pointy-loafer-type shoes that were both hilarious and somehow badass. We had positioned ourselves stage left in the very front, which from here on out in my life will be referred to as "Steakside." (Conversely, stage right will be known as the "Rontrose Zone.") So, we were in for a whole lot of Bolton, which was our plan.He did not disappoint.

This was "The Big Show," meaning they were slotted to do both rock and country sets. I was worried they might do the same set as the Seattle show, and while they played a lot of the same songs, they mixed 'em up and extended the country portion a bit, which was cool. They played a good smattering of old and new, and though I keep waiting for them to break out "I'm a Fucking Genius" from the new record, I haven't heard it yet. Of course, I could whine for days about the songs I wish they were playing. But that's me, I'm a hopeless fanboy.

At midnight, Eddie and Bolton brought their wives up, popped open some champagne, and we counted down the New Year. Here's a blurry photo of it:Eddie made a nice little speech, The Heath Man shared some bubbly with those in the Rontrose Zone (see, it's catching on already), and then they got back to the rock.

By the time they were through (after ending the show with the semi-standard "Goodbye"/"Patent-Pending Fake Encore"/"Cowboy Song"/"Born With A Tail"), they had played for a solid two hours, giving us all, in my opinion, our twenty bucks worth. But, in true fanboy style, when I saw they were offering limited edition posters (only 50 made!) to commemorate the evening at the merch table, I couldn't help but cough up some more scratch. Not a bad way to spend New Year's Eve.