Stallion Alert at the Movies: Uncle Meat: The Mothers of Invention Movie (1987)

Thank goodness for Movie Madness. When you need to rent a straight-to-video release from Frank Zappa's Honker Home Video that was put out on VHS in 1987 and never released to DVD, you can count on them. I think they had three copies. Which is sweet, because I really didn't want to shell out forty bucks for it on eBay, when I know it'll see a DVD release at some point in my lifetime.

Here's the deal with Uncle Meat (as far as I know). Zappa and the Mothers started filming the flick around 1968, quickly ran out of money and time, and never finished it. Almost twenty years later, Zappa pieced the footage they did have together and released it to home video independently. Mothers fans had been waiting for it forever. How did they know about it? Because The Mothers released the soundtrack to it in 1969 (we'll get to that next), with this subtitled on the front: "Most of the music from the Mother's (sic) movie of the same name which we haven't got enough money to finish yet." So, the legend was born.

Was it worth the almost two-decade wait? I could probably find some folks who would tell you it was. But those people would be hardcore Mothers fans. This movie is not for the casual fan, my friends. Though, I do have to say, it was not nearly as boring as I remember it being. I watched it about ten years ago and really struggled with it. This time around, I knew what I was in for, so I just sat back, relaxed, and watched keyboardist Don Preston (in the title role) dick around for almost two hours. And really, that's all it is.

There's a loose story about the love between Uncle Meat (aka Don Preston aka Biff Debris) and Sheba Flieschman (aka film editor Phyllis Altenhaus, who also plays herself), which is both portrayed as part of the scripted film and part of the making-of documentary, which is sort of what the movie ends up being anyway. Sheba gets excited when Don transforms into Uncle Meat, but she can't understand why. He attempts to coax her by drinking dry-iced concoctions and rubbing her all over with raw hamburger. Cal Schenkel also plays a cymbal with pliers in the middle of a supermarket aisle. Confused yet? You should be. Because it barely makes sense.

But for some (and sadly, I'm one of these), watching the original Mothers dick around for an hour and a half ain't too bad. But, here's the crap part: Zappa's barely in it, and there's hardly any actual music in it. They show the stage show where the Uncle Meat character came from (sort of), but it's cut short after only a little music. And later in the film, there's a short bit of "Mother People." There may be a few other short interludes, but that's about it.

But, hey, if you want to see Don Preston naked in the shower rubbing raw meat all over a fully-clothed girl, this is the flick for you.

Long clip of Uncle Meat here.

The Mothers of Invention - Mothermania (LP, 1969)

Zappa/Mothers fans get a boner for this early "best-of" LP, and there's a few reasons for that.

First, it's the only Mothers of Invention compilation that was ever authorized and hand-picked by Zappa himself. There were a few others released later (we'll get to those), but this was the first, and many hardcore enthusiasts consider it - because of FZ's stamp of approval - the only one worth owning.

Second, this album - while containing previously released material - contains different edits of a few tracks. For instance, on Absolutely Free, "Call Any Vegetable," "Invocation & Ritual Dance of the Young Pumpkin," and "Soft-Cell Conclusion" all bridge together to form one long song, based around the "Call Any Vegetable" refrain. On this record, "Invocation" (which is a seven-minute instrumental break) has been removed, with the two surrounding tracks combined and called, simply, "Call Any Vegetable." There's also a few extra bars of filler in there to join the two sections.

On Freak Out!, "Help I'm a Rock" is listed (on the vinyl only) as "A Suite in Three Movements," with the first being "Okay to Tap Dance," the second being "In Memoriam, Edgar Varèse," and the third being "It Can't Happen Here." On Mothermania, "It Can't Happen Here" is removed from the suite and stands alone as its own song, but it's also a different edit with an abruptly looped ending and a few additional spoken words from Zappa. (In the original version, Zappa tells Suzy Creamcheese that they've been "very interested in [her] development." On this version, he adds, "since you first took the shots.")

However, the major factor in all this (and I probably should have mentioned this first) is that this remains one of the only Zappa-related albums that has never seen an official release on CD. The Zappa family finally released it as a digital download this past year, but the only physical copies to own remain the original LPs. There are different versions of these, as well, and though I don't know how many, the label variations on the LPs themselves seem to determine the price.

I held out for a long time before picking up a copy of this LP, because record store jerks frequently try to jack up the prices on copies that aren't that great. My wait paid off, and I found a copy in incredible shape for a reasonable price. As it stands now, it's probably my most valuable Zappa LP. I checked some completed listings on eBay, and was surprised by how much a copy identical to mine sold for. So that's pretty sweet.

Now keep your dirty mitts off of it.

The Mothers of Invention, Live in 1968

The Mothers of Invention - Cruising with Ruben & the Jets (LP, 1968)

1968 was a big year for Zappa and the Mothers. After We're Only in It for the Money, Zappa put out his first solo album, the wacky-fun Lumpy Gravy, and then got back with the Mothers to drop this LP, a full-on doo-wop album that is either brilliantly satirical or completely serious. I've never been able to tell which.

While Freak Out! had its share of doo-wop tunes, most of them were fashioned with snarky lyrics that could hardly be misinterpreted. While there's a little of that here, it's toned down considerably, making it unclear whether or not this is just a tribute album to the style of music that Zappa loved so much growing up. In the end, it doesn't matter. This is simply a great little record, a collection of tunes that mostly feature Ray Collins on lead vocals and sound like they're straight from a malt shop. I know it sounds like an odd idea - and it is - but it's strangely enjoyable.

Three tracks from Freak Out! ("How Could I Be Such a Fool?," "You Didn't Try to Call Me," and "Any Way the Wind Blows") get reworked here, and though the lyrics remain the same, the feel and tempos of the songs change considerably in each case. It's a cool idea, mostly because they're so different in their newer versions.

This album is one of the ones that's a sore spot for Zappa fans, because before it was released on CD, Zappa had some dudes do overdubs on some of the songs he wasn't happy with. Of course, this was like twenty years later, so it's completely obvious where the new tracks are. I'm pretty sure it's never been released in its original form on CD. My advice: stop being such a sniveler and buy the original LP. That's how it was supposed to be heard in the first place, you sissies.

And it's a sweet gatefold number with fun shit on the inside. Yeah, my copy's NM. Eh, maybe EX+.

"I'm Not Satisfied"

500th Post: Take That, Society.

Yes, I've somehow stuck with this.

So, let's see where we're at. Alphabetically, I'm close to being halfway done. But I anticipate the "S" and "T" categories to be hefty ones, and I'll have more Z's than you would think, on account of all the Zappa. So, I doubt I'm actually halfway done. And if I intend to get into soundtracks and compilations (which I'm not promising), then I'm definitely not halfway done. Either way, I'm excited that I've come this far. And I'm feeling pretty good about it going into the new year, so I'm going to keep at it as long as I can. I know I slip some days, but I try to make up for it, and I usually do.

Let's break down the stats.

By my 200th post, the score was 116-84; roughly 58% CDs to 42% vinyl.

By my 300th post, it was 179-112; about 61% to 39%.

At post 400, it was 217-156, which sent it back to 58% CDs and 42% vinyl.

Now, the score is CDs: 250, LPs: 211. That breaks down to 54% CDs, 46% vinyl.

I told you LPs would start making a push, and they have. This upcoming Mothers of Invention section is going to push it even further. Still, I'm curious to see how it'll all work out. I know you probably don't really give a shit about the media on which my music was pressed, but it's fun for me. And I'm still working on replacing my CDs with LPs. It's a tedious and expensive, but it's also really fun.

Top Genres: 90's rock is still in the lead, with 90's hip hop reclaiming its rightful slot in second. 2000's rock moved up to third, with 2000's hip hop barely trailing it in fourth.

70's Rock: Ahead of 80's rock now. Interesting... I blame Led Zeppelin.

In other news, I was able to rent a copy of Uncle Meat, the Mothers of Invention movie. I am going to go watch it now. Pray for me. And look for a review of it later this week.

The Mothers of Invention - We're Only in It for the Money (LP, CD, 1968)

One of the greatest albums of all time? Depends on who you talk to. If you talk to me, I'll tell you that it is. This is The Mothers' crowning achievement, an album that is musically dense, insanely complex in its structure, completely hilarious, and just all-around amazing.

There are a few different versions of this album, and if you care about that, read the Wikipedia article here. I was first introduced to this gem via the aforementioned RYKO re-releases that sprouted up in the mid-90's. I had no idea that Zappa had gone back and overdubbed some bass and percussion parts. It wasn't until I bought an actual LP copy (I'm not completely happy with mine - it doesn't have the original insert) that I heard the album as it was originally released. The CD version I played incessantly - and still have - is produced terribly; it's one of the quietest CDs I own. They've since RE-re-released it, and it sounds better. The version I have includes Lumpy Gravy, Zappa's first solo album. Anyway.

If you like hippies being skewered mercilessly - and who doesn't - then this is the album for you. And while the trampling of Flower Power is fantastic, it wouldn't be shit without the songs on this record. Every single one is great, and really shows Zappa coming into his own. He's bitter, driven, and must have been determined to show The Beatles what was really going on. And anyone who thought The Mothers were a tripped-out, acid-fueled, psychedelic band got set straight with this one. "Who Needs the Peace Corps?" takes care of that early on in the proceedings.

From there, the brilliance just escalates. Songs like "Concentration Moon," "Mom & Dad," "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?" - heck, really just the whole damn thing - are so immediately enjoyable that I dare you not to love them. (I made the mistake of daring girls not to love them in college, and they gladly obliged. Zappa will not get you laid, gents.)

Still following the template of a loose concept album, this record is the big kiss-off to the hippie movement, specifically those who seem to be obsessed with something that they don't even care to understand. "Flower Punk" is perhaps the most scathing of these cuts, and it's also one of my all-time favorites.

I lived in Eugene when I first got into this record, and the timing couldn't have been better. My tolerance of the "hippies" grew thin within the first few months of being there, and this album provided much ammo against the folks I despised. But like I said, it wouldn't have meant jack without the great songs that this album contains. I've often called this one of my favorite records of all time, and I still stand by that. I can still listen to it and love it, and I'm going on 15 years of it being a part of my life.

When I said you should start at the beginning with The Mothers, I should have said you could also start here. If you don't like this album, you won't like The Mothers. But if you do, you'll immediately want to hear more.

"Mother People"? Brilliant. "Let's Make the Water Turn Black"? One of the greatest songs ever. "Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance"? Practically perfect. I can't say enough about this one, folks. I know Zappa's not for everyone, but I'd urge you to give this one a shot.

"Let's Make the Water Turn Black"

The Mothers of Invention - Absolutely Free (LP, 1967)

I have said, on occasion, that The Mothers are my favorite band ever. At times, I have certainly felt like that. When I'm engulfed in the genius of an album like Absolutely Free, it's hard for me to imagine anything better. This record is top-notch Mothers, a collection of songs that perfectly bridge the gap between the album that preceded it and the one that would follow.

Absolutely Free is more straight-up nutty (lyrically, at least) than the Mothers' debut, with tracks like "Call Any Vegetable" and "Duke of Prunes" being some of the major tunes here. Though, wonderfully, it's often hard to tell where one song ends and one begins on this album. They all blend together in what Zappa called "mini-suites" (one on each side), movements that incorporate smaller elements of songs that all work together to form one semi-cohesive song. These songs often shoot off into sprawling instrumental sections (with "Invocation & Ritual Dance of the Young Pumpkin" easily being the biggest one), but the record is tight and lean compared to Freak Out!

And I love it. This is one of my favorite Mothers albums, and though I say that about almost all of them, I really do have a fondness for this one. It just gets going and doesn't stop, except when you have to flip the record over. And the variation of styles and complexity here are nuts. The addition of Bunk Gardner on sax, the irrepressible Don Preston on keys, and the beefy Billy Mundi on percussion couldn't have hurt. The Mothers sound wide on this album, and they also sound rehearsed and well-oiled. "Brown Shoes Don't Make It" is a feat unto itself.

Man, seriously. Just listen to The Mothers' albums in order. You'll thank me. Because you need this perspective for what comes next. Well, not exactly. But it helps.

"Call Any Vegetable"

The Mothers of Invention - Freak Out! (2xLP, CD, 1966)

When I said "get ready for the Mothers," I hope you didn't take that lightly. Because we're about to spend the next three weeks with them. Not on any Zappa solo stuff, mind you. Just the Mothers. By the end of it you will either be convinced that they were one of the most important bands of the 20th century (my unflinching opinion), or you'll be completely sick of them. Eh, what do I care? This ain't required reading.

For the uninitiated, here's the deal. The Mothers of Invention (later just The Mothers) were Frank Zappa's first real (by that I mean well-known/successful) band, a group that he led from roughly 1964-1975. There were various incarnations of The Mothers, with Zappa always leading the way. The Wikipedia article on them isn't great, but it can give you a quick backstory if you're interested. If you really want to nerd out on the different eras of the Mothers, check this out.

So, it all begins here, with one of the most monumental debuts in rock history. I've heard that this is the first double-LP ever, or the first gatefold ever, but I'm not sure if either of those claims are true. It was definitely one of the first of both of those, but there had to be two-record sets that preceded this one. It's definitely notable for being a 2-LP debut album, of which there can't be many.

I started listening to Zappa towards the end of high school, and was quickly converted to a fan. RYKO had just begun to release all of Zappa's music on CD, and I think it was around 1995 that I scooped this bad boy up. It wouldn't be until years later (maybe around 2000?) that I shelled out the dough for an original copy of the double album, and even then I bought the stereo version (as opposed to the much rarer - and more expensive - mono release). The copy I have is in insanely good shape, though, so I don't regret the purchase. I'd still like to get a mono copy, or even a copy that has the original "Freak Out! Hot Spots" ad on the inside, which denotes a very early pressing. But check out what they go for on eBay. Might be a while.

Anyway, the music. It's unreal. Explaining The Mothers' sound would take pages, but at this point it was basically a mix of upended psych-rock and snarky doo-wop. Songs like "Who Are the Brain Police?" and "Hungry Freaks, Daddy" are right next to seemingly sincere tunes like "Go Cry on Somebody Else's Shoulder" and "How Could I Be Such a Fool?," making this record initially confusing, but once you "get it," there's nothing better. I still can't believe this thing came out in 1966. I still can't believe a record label put it out. I still can't believe I've been listening to it since I was 19 and I haven't grown out of it or tired of it.

After shuffling through wonderfully produced poppish numbers for the first 3/4's of the record, the album wraps up with three huge tracks that make up the entire second LP. "Trouble Every Day" is possibly the most sincere social commentary Zappa would ever make, a blues-based number about the Watts riots. A great, great song. And one of the few songs on the album where he takes care of the lead vocal by himself (Ray Collins handles a good amount of the vocals on this album).

At 8:40, "Help, I'm a Rock" is the second-longest track on the album, behind the track that follows it, the 12:22 "The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet." Both are impossible to put into words, but they're highly experimental and incredibly awesome. Again, I can't believe that a label released this in 1966. But man, I'm glad they did.

Want to get into The Mothers? Start here. If you don't find anything in this one, you might want to just move on with your life. But then again, the next ones are great, too...

"Hungry Freaks, Daddy"